The Thoughts and Pains of Johnny Cade
by rockmysocks456
Summary: this is a couple chapters explaining things mostly through Johnny's point of view.
1. The Guy with the Rings

_* This is gonna be alittle different than it was in the book, because personally I thought the book made them all sound pretty un-tough. So, I've decided to make them tougher. _

* * *

It was just an average day. The gang were all out somewhere so I was just walking along, hands in my jean jacket, kicking a pebble down the road. I don't know what it was that made me want to walk across that lot, but I did. I wish I hadn't.

I was just walking along, thinking about who knows what when I heard a car pull up somewhere behind me. My heart nearly stopped. I turned around and shivered, it was a blue Mustang with several Socs getting out.

They were surrounding me and there was nothing I could do about it. I just had to stand there desperately hoping a pop bottle or even a stick would just magically appear so that I'd have something to defend myself with. But there was nothing.

"Hey, grease." One of them slurred. I could smell the whiskey on their breath and I knew they wouldn't hold back, they were too drunk.

I felt myself turn pale and I started to shake. I tried to stop so I could look tougher. Didn't work.

"Hey, grease how 'bout we do you a favor?" One I knew to be Randy said.

I said nothing.

"Yeah, we'll do you a favor. We'll beat the shit out of you, free of charge. How's that sound?" Bob, the one with a madras shirt and three rings on his hand said slowly.

"Uh-" Was all I could manage to say.

"Get him."

One second I was standing, the next I was hitting the ground after recieving a particularly hard punch to the face. I could feel the blood pouring out of my nose.

I tried to breath but couldn't as they held me down and started punching me. I tried to get free, but I recieved a very hard hit to the face by Bob, and I felt his rings graze my cheek.

Then I felt nothing but pain as blackness swallowed me.

* * *

"Johnny?"

I woke up, completely dazed, and every inch of me ached with fresh bruises and cuts. I wanted to get up and leave this place, but I couldn't find it in myself to get up.

"Johnny," It was Sodapop speaking. I could tell. I uttered a groan and he gently turned me over to face them.

I said nothing only opened my eyes. It was the entire gang there. Soda was kneeling beside me and Steve had just run up behind him.

Steve let out a muffled groan and fell to his knees, as though he could feel the pain I did. Dally came up last and his eyes widened and he looked so mad I was afraid he was gonna punch out Steve who was closest to him. Ponyboy just stood beside Darry not making a sound.

I felt someone pick me up, I saw it was Two-Bit, and they took me home. Well, not _my_ home, but it pretty much was my second home. The Curtis' home.

They dumped me on the couch and Dally said something I'll never forget.

"I won't let any motherfucker ever hurt you again."


	2. 6 Inch Switchblade

_Again, this is gonna be alittle different from the book/movie because they were pretty wuss in that so I'm making them tougher. So I'm gonna substitute crying with something alittle more manly._

* * *

It was a few months after that beating by the Socs that I found myself walking along the sidewalk with Ponyboy and Two-Bit, two pretty girls with us. I wanted to talk to them but I was kind of shy. Okay, really shy.

It was then that a terrifyingly, familiar blue Mustang pulled up next to the curb.

I hadn't really been paying attention to what was being said, I wasn't exactly part of what was going on. I was seperated. Most likely because I felt like I was about to pass out.

"PITY THE BACK SEAT!" Two-Bit shouted and snatched a pop bottle off the ground, smashed the end on the fence and handed it to Ponyboy.

"Stop!" Cherry snapped and everyone looked at her.

"I hate fights," She explained, "I hate 'em."

I drifted off again, into my own world of silene. Only seeing, but not hearing.

I saw the Mustang pull away and I breathed again, and I heard Two-Bit say,

"Well those were two good looking girls if I ever saw..." It was then that I realized they had left with the Mustang clan.

After we'd gotten back to our hood, Ponyboy and I wandered off towards the lot, Two-Bit going off to pick a fight, gamble, maybe get drunk. He hadn't decided yet.

I was laying there in the lot and I found myself mumbling,

"That was a tuff car. Mustangs are tuff."

Then Ponyboy started talking so I tuned him out and sort of nodded and said, "Okay" and "Yeah" until I drifted off to sleep...

* * *

"Shit!" I swore, Ponyboy was still here. "Fuck, Ponyboy! Wake up, man!" Ponyboy woke up and gasped,

"Glory what time is it?"

"I don't know, I fell asleep too. And don't say glory, be a man, say shit."

"Shit what time is it?"

"I don't know I fell asleep too!"

He ran off towards his house and I shrugged and went back to sleep in the lot.

"Johnny, c'mon Johnny we're running away!" Ponyboy was yelling and then I felt his legs run into me and there we were in a crumpled heap in the lot.

We both staggered up and were running down the street.

We stopped, out of breath at the curb across from the park and sat down to smoke a cigarette.

"Ponyboy, what happened?" I asked lighting my cigarette.

"Darry hit me, we used to get along fine before mom and dad died but now he can't stand me!" Ponyboy mumbled as he took a long drag on his own cigarette.

"C'mon," Ponyboy said standing up, "Let's go to the park. Maybe I'll cool off enough to go home."

"Alright." I replied, getting up myself.

We crossed the road and were sitting on top of the monkeybars smoking when that blue Mustang pulled up.

I started shaking a little bit and I pulled my jacket on tighter pretending I was just cold.

When the Socs got out of their car I could tell they were drunk. They were staggering, and Bob was still taking a swig from his flask.

"Hey, greasers.." Randy slurred.

"Should we run?" Ponyboy whispered.

"Too late." I whispered back.

"You know what a greaser is?" Bob said laughing.

"What?"

"White trash with long greasy hair."

Ponyboy just couldn't keep his trap shut and he snapped back, "You know what a Soc is? White trash with Mustangs and madras." He then proceeded to spit at them.

We leapt off the monkey bars and started running. Five against two, smart idea, Pony.

I heard Ponyboy screaming and cursing as a few Socs dunked him in the fountain. I tried to help him but I was punched down. I fought anyway, trying to stand up. For that I recieved a hard kick to the ribs.

I groaned and as the two Socs that were beating up me hurried over to help the others, I reached in my pocket and pulled out my switchblade.

I staggered, I didn't realize how hard I'd been punched until I saw that I couldn't walk straight. But without knowing what, or how, I flicked open the blade and I was stabbing Bob.

Bob's face lost color and as he crumpled, I knew- I had killed him.

The others ran for it.

I pulled Ponyboy out of the fountain and then I looked from him, to the blade, to Bob. I staggered sideways and fell, beside the fountain. Blackness fell over me and I wished right then that it would engulf me forever.


	3. Terrified Awakening

_* This will be a short chapter, keep reading and reviewing!_

* * *

I was in blackness and wanted to stay there, but I knew I was waking up.

Reluctantly, I allowed my eyelids to come apart from each other and I blinked away the blurred screen that had clouded my vision. I pushed myself up into a sitting position, my back against the fountain and felt a sharp pain in my thumb. I looked down and saw I had cut it on the switchblade.

I picked it up and it was then that I saw Bob, eyes staring wide at the starry sky above him. Open but not seeing. Never seeing again...

I took in deep, rattling breaths as I looked away from him, my own eyes wide with fear and regret. I was shaking harder than I ever had in my life, and the bloody blade I held in front of me, not looking at it.

Ponyboy uttered a groan and opened his eyes. I didn't look at him but I was sure he saw Bob because I heard him gasp as he sat up.

"I...I killed him." That was all I could say.

Ponyboy stared at me, I knew he couldn't possibly be as terrified as me.

"I killed that boy..." I was on the verge of passing out again when I whispered turning to Ponyboy, "I killed him."

Ponyboy stared at me. He coughed up some more water and then when he regained breath muttered shakily, "You really did kill him, huh Johnny?"

The explanation was so hazy in my mind but it came out alot easier in words.

"I had to. They-They was drowning you, they could've killed you." I took the bloody knife and dug it up a shallow but as far as I was concerned, forever grave and covered it up.

"What happened to the other guys?"

"Huh?" Then I realized what he'd said, "They ran, they all ran when I stabbed him..." I took in another deep shaky breath.

I wiped some blood I felt running down my cheek on my sleeve.

"We gotta get outta here." I added.

"Y-Yeah." Ponyboy agreed.

I gave the park one final glance. Hoping I would never see it again. I saw Bob again and I shivered. I'd never committed murder before.

Bob was lying in a pool of his own blood, I wished I could go back now, and restrain myself from that fearful blind stab. But I couldn't. I had to realize and accept that. I was now a murderer.

Who could get me out of this? The answer was the clearest thing in my mind. Everything else was a dazed thought. But the answer, who could help me? I knew. The only person I trusted with something as deep as this.

Dallas Winston.


End file.
